Monday 22 June 2009

Official - They're All The Same

My local MP, ggg ggg, has been much vaunted (by others as well as himself), for having claimed absolutely nothing on expenses during the course of his parliamentary career. So imagine my dismay on discovering that in fact, according to the officially released data, he put in £5.99 for a box of Ferrero Rocher.

My sense of betrayal is indescribable. This local folk hero, tireless champion of underdogs and lost causes, relentless scourge of injustice and official obfuscation, eats (or at least buys) Ferrero Rocher?

I find myself scrabbling for excuses for him. Perhaps he needed to bribe an ambassador or something?

Friday 19 June 2009

Pigeon Post

As you know, I like to post incisive, witty, original thoughts on current affairs, politics, international crises, dangerous behaviour by rogue nations and such like ... Hence my absence from these pages recently, frankly that stuff's all been so humdrum and predictable that I find it hard to stir my interest beyond the sell-by dates at my local Londis (which, incidentally, seem to operate on some kind of inverse principle - start from today and work back).

But at last, the pigeon mating season has arrived! The activity levels are intense enough that I fear for the integrity of my copper beech tree and the roofs of some of my outbuildings - and that's just the male rivalries and the foreplay; it's worse than Reading Broad Street at 2 a.m. Saturday morning. Who would imagine that these dumb, bumbling, uncoordinated slow-witted creatures could behave like that? And the pigeons are no better ...

Ah, some Breaking News: The gggggggggggggggg is a pigeon ggggggggg