I have solved the world's financial problems several times here since I started blogging, but my proposals - abolish the financial markets, everybody join the euro, and so on - have been totally ignored. I can only assume that this is because they are not radical enough. So it's time to take the velvet glove off.
Somebody recently asked (in the Guardian, of course): if practically everyone is in debt, who do they owe it all to? Nobody came up with the obvious answer, which is 'each other'. And nobody has yet explained to my satisfaction how the inverted pyramid of piss which seems to be causing all this trouble came about, or why anyone puts up with it. On the radio only this morning, I heard an apparently important person, from a position of some authority, explaining in all seriousness that the problem was that governments were not doing enough to convince the markets that governments were doing enough to constrain the activities of the markets. I simplify, but not by much.
So, let's all default on our debts. Let's all - countries, corporations, families, people - say 'nope, sorry, can't repay you.' What would happen then? Susan from over the road would ask me to lend her £350 to buy a new iBrow or something. I'd say 'fine, I'll just nip next door and borrow it from Crispian.' Crispian would gladly say yes, because he knew that Kimberley two doors up would be good for it ... We'd all be happy, because we'd know that we'd be welcome round Susan's place any time to play with her iBrow. And the people who make iBrows would be perfectly happy.
Pretty soon everyone would get fed up with wasting all their energy whizzing money faster and faster around the planet, and hunker down to making and doing things that are actually useful to each other.
Meanwhile, I can't even buy a decent cheese grater. The company that used to make them has gone bust.