Thursday, 12 January 2012

Detox? Bah, humbugs

Monday is officially the most depressing day of the year.  That's good news, of course, it can only get better.  (I'm pretty sure I blogged this identical point this time last year, and probably the year before, but hey, if I'm not allowed to repeat myself, well, I wouldn't be allowed to repeat myself, would I?)  But so-called 'detox' is not the solution.

A friend at work used to give up alcohol for the whole of January.  He was hell to be with, and tipped the first pint of February down with audible relish.  I remember him once saying "Welcome me back to the human race" as he did so.  And science states that so-called detox is a myth: abrupt changes to your body's expectations, as cultivated over eleven months, do more harm than good.  At least the science I read does.

And there are more pressing reasons to abstain from self-imposed abstention.  They come under the collective heading 'Christmas presents'.  Here are a couple:

And of course:

OK, not strictly humbugs; but there must be a hundred of them in there (it doesn't say on the packet), to be consumed by 3 April, when the best-before date starts to poison me.

And I haven't even started on the socks and the handkerchiefs.


  1. I have a friend who lives on cabbage soup and not much else every January and it doesn't seem to do him much good. I think the soup actually causes audible relish.

  2. The latest is, a sausage a day increases your chances of getting pancreatic cancer by 19%. Perhaps chocolate and butterscotch washed down with a tipple or two, could be the perfect antidote?

  3. I have had a vile week at work. Monday cannot possibly be any worse.

    How have you still got chocolate left 3 weeks after Christmas? Either you got given an awful lot more than we did or you have a great deal of self control.

  4. Rog, what does he live on the rest of the year? Sausages, probably.

    Martin - you have managed to make me feel ill in two diametrically opposed ways at a single stroke. Thanks pal.

    AQ - before or after washing?

    Liz - self-control, of course, surprised you had to ask. Not being that mad on chocolate helps too.

  5. Have the socks got a use by date?