Monday, 4 June 2012

I watched it!

I did!  Almost all of it!  Somebody had to.
What a bummer, I have to say.  At a stroke, Gary Barlow and the rest of them managed to dissipate 75% of the goodwill that yesterday's great populist pageant had engendered.  What an appallingly awful set of performances.  Not to mention That Song, so counterproductively called 'Sing' - I'd need a lot of money to be persuaded to compose anything worse.
So, just a few lowlights (and two high ones):
A kind of inverse highlight: I was terrified that Elton was going to conclude with 'Candle in the Wind'.  I really was.  Amazingly, he summoned up better taste.  That doesn't happen often.
Rolf was valiantly struggling to fill in with Maggie's favourite song, uncued and unaccompanied, and just getting the crowd going when Stevie Wonder's road crew finally managed to get set up and have the poor man hauled off mid-impro.  I imagine Stevie going "get him off NOW or I'm on my plane." 
He should have been.  He was dreadful.  He seemed to think it was her birthday, and his incomprehensible henchman addressed her as 'Your Highness'.  I mean, really.  And WTF was he doing there anyway?  Representing the Colonies or something?
Highspot #1: Madness on the roof, with some great projections onto Buck house (which the Beeb, with their customary ineptitude, managed to miss most of.)  'It Must Be Love' momentarily made me want to be there.
Macca sounded and looked over the hill.  I'd really hoped he'd end with the final track from Abbey Road, but instead he inexplicably chose to croak through 'Live and Let Die' - eh? - which contains the worst lyric even he has been able to come up with - "the changing world in which we live in".
Highspot #2: Charlie!  Didn't he do well?  For a moron who long will hopefully not reign over us.
Still, at least the beacon got lit.  They'll need it to reignite the Olympic torch.


  1. I saw Rolf at the Sparrow's Nest theatre in Lowestoft once. He was brilliant! We were all in stitches.

    Seems as though an evening with old friends (who were joyous and hugged me when I said I'd go to Corfu with them on Thursday, very flattering) was the better deal.

  2. I'm getting in a right muddle with all these beacons and torches... seems to have become the official gatecrasher of UK events.... it was him on stage with Stevie Wonder who shouted: Your Highness.
    Definitely cringey.

  3. Are you sure it wasn't Prince Will.I.Am?
    We jot as far as Jessie J and turned off to read our books.

  4. Yes, now it's all over bar the praying maybe we can get down to the next big sporting event. Which one though? Oh yes the Canadian Grand Prix.
    Only saw bits of it but I thought excruciating about lil' Stevie (who also kept us waiting at the Mandela 70 concert) & Grace "Hoola" Jones, being two I heard wishing Her Majesty a happy birthday. Until I realised it was actually 4th June, her (official) birthday. So that was OK.
    But Macca (70 in a fortnight) has I am afraid lost his voice. But who am I to complain? I've been croaking for 2 weeks now & I'm much younger.

  5. I watched two of the worst and most entertaining movies with my son and his friends instead.

    It was an evening well spent.

    Sorry you had to suffer so.

    Just think, at least you didn't have to fake a bladder infection just to get out of it!

  6. Couldn't agree with you more about Stevie Wonder. Seriously, WTF?

  7. I shall obviously have to do some research to find out what a is.
    Anyway, some people obviously liked it, so I must be a glass-half-empty curmudgeon. In fact, I have to confess I enjoyed looking out for the naff bits as much as I did the good ones. But that's me.

  8. We recorded it in order to fast forward through the crappy bits. The first 45 mins or so were dreadful and only saved from total mediocrety by the comedians. I did enjoy Rob Brydon (who I usually hate) asking the Royals if they got their tickets from a tout and Jimmy Carr saying that without the Queen there would be no bunting industry in this country. The best act in my opinion was Sir Tom Jones and Dame Burley Shassey can still belt them out. I liked Madness too and wonder why they had such a short set?

    I have to disagree with you about "Sing"; OK it isn't the best song ever but last night's performance made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

    Entirely agree about Macca though; he's been past it for about 20 years in my opinion. However, my vote for worst act of the night would go to Cliff Richard who was terrible.

  9. It sounds as though whatever I was doing in the rain might have been more fun.
    Shame to have missed Madness though.

  10. I agree with my good lady (as always). On the whole, it was pretty slick for a live event. Mr Williams' version of Mack the Knife was also good. Grace Jones - top bird! Mad as a bucket of frogs though.

  11. OK, my balanced verdict:

    Best: Madness, Sir Tom, Robbie.

    Worst: Sir Paul, Sir Elton, Stevie.

    Mediocre: the rest.

    Most embarrassing linkperson: Jimmy Carr.

  12. Well I enjoyed Elton although I also thought he was about to launch into Candle in the Wind. Madness were good. Robbie Williams (who I don't even like) was good. Macca was well past it, and has been for years now. And as for getting Rolf to fill with Two Little Boys and then trying to stop him half way through, that was plain cringeworthy. Oh, and Charles was surprisingly good.

  13. So glad we were on the boat - we sat with a drink, watching the sunset and listening to 'Hard Rain' (local group) playing in the distance.