1. Who didn’t skyfall?
A – the Queen: it was a professional stuntman called Gary Connery (who doesn’t look anything like her close up).
2. Which tower of strength may have been dug up in a car park?
A – Richard III. (He braggingly describes himself thus in Shakespeare’s play, despite not even being able to rustle up a wee horse).
3. Is there life on Mars?
A – Yes. The Curiosity rover has discovered micro-biological traces in rock samples. They don’t yet know if it’s indigenous, though; it may have been trodden in on the rover's shoes or something. (That happens here.)
4. Where did water start just after it was stopped?
A – here in the UK, of course: just after the hosepipe ban was introduced in the Spring, it started raining and didn’t stop until just before midnight yesterday.
5. Of what water-related asset was it said, in June: “Prices have bottomed out and investors feel this is a good time to buy.”?
A – Privately owned islands. This was the view of a representative of a rather specialised estate agency – rush to get yours tomorrow, as the market will certainly take off following this blog post.
6. Who is ending the year even more pasty-faced?
A – well, mine was George Osborne, because of the warm pasty fiasco. But they’re all looking a bit seedy, aren’t they?
7. Two events proved that the world won’t end just because someone says it will. Identify them both.
A – 1: The end of the last 400 year Baktun in the Mayan Long Count calendar in 21 December; they simply couldn’t be bothered to calculate the next one, the wimps. 2 : Discovery at CERN of the Higgs boson, which explains, among other things, why we have gravity; some said that this discovery would prompt God to realise the game was up, and shut down the universe. It didn’t happen, so presumably the game isn’t up yet.
8. How did someone earn £8,000 a day for knowing nothing?
A – George Entwhistle accepted a £450,000 pay-off for voluntarily resigning as BBC DG after 54 days of not having a clue what was going on in the organisation he was running.
9. What illumination has finally gone out?
A – the incandescent light bulb, which is no longer available except in certain specialised forms.
10. Who threw the best blog party of the year?
A – The incomparable ZZZZZZ!!! (There may have been better ones, but I find it hard to imagine.)
Happy New Year, everyone!