Thursday, 6 March 2014

History of the Universe, Part III: Towards Civilisation

Now that you’ve learnt how to think (see Part II), here’s how to become civilised:

Hunt and gather until you’ve used it all up.

Move somewhere else and repeat.  Invent nomadism.

Notice that when a seed drops from a plant, sometimes it sprouts.  Invent agriculture.

Invent tools, and pay people to make them for you.  Gather together and invent towns.

When other towns grow too close, merge with them, share skills and resources, and invent nations.

When other nations grow too close, subdue them.  Invent war.

Conquer enough other nations to form a civilisation. 

Believe that your civilisation will last forever.  Wait.


‘Fail again.  Fail better.’




  1. Still, mustn't grumble eh?

  2. Yeah, well that certainly seems to be happening. Civilisation failing, at an ever-increasing rate.
    Presumably Boko Haram believe their version of civilisation would last forever. But Part II of the History seems to have been missed out in their case.

  3. But no doubt they (Boko Haram) do understand the lyrics of Whiter Shade of Pale, even if pissed.

  4. Civilised ?

    Man invented the sledgehammer. The problem solver is adapted to circumstances - that is called history.

    Did something else change, except the form(s) ?

  5. it's called entropy, Mago. Ad infinitum. Which takes me back to where I started. To the next iteration of the Universe - good luck!

  6. well if that's how it ends I'm glad I'm not sticking round to see it!

  7. Rog, not sure I agree. "Grumble better," maybe?

    Richard - erm, not sure I agree... Maybe we can have a civilised conversation about this next time we meet (assuming you and I are still as civilised as ever)?

    Linda, not sure I agree. I rather fancy the prospect of watching it all crumble around me, just before I do ...