Tuesday, 25 August 2009

Weather forecasts

Now I bet that caught your attention! Rant follows:

Why do they always start each new regional summary with 'Now'? 'Now, for Scotland and the rest of Northern Ireland ...' 'Now, for the rest of England and Wales ...'
And why do they give us the exceptions first, then the 'rest of' bit? I tend to listen out for the bits that affect me, which tend to be part of the 'rest of', but I risk missing a subtle exception that might just matter to me. The other day I swear that, as my ears belatedly focussed (or whatever it is ears do) I heard something like ' ... except for the eastern parts of Western Scotland and some parts of rural Berkshire, for the rest of the United Kingdom ...' I exaggerate, but not much.
And by the way, why are they so obsessed with Western Scotland and its isles? I know these places have their own wonder and beauty, but let's face it, most people don't live there. I'd rather have a micro-forecast for West Reading than Stornaway (populations roughly similar I'd guess). Is it simply because they do, actually, have much more interesting weather? (I'd also guess that the good people of Stornaway don't listen to this crud, preferring to look at the sky - see below).
They should also be wary of voicing emotive words such as 'hurricane'. Tomorrow, it's going to be a bit wet and windy across the U.K., as a depression swings in, tail end of a hurricane which blew itself out mid-Atlantic a few days ago. All the forecasts use the H word, and old people who live alone and are hard of hearing and anxiety-ridden pick up only that. Kate, who ticks all those boxes, complains about being unable to sleep through fear that the three loose ridge tiles on her roof will come crashing down and kill her. We had to soothe her with assurances - they always get it wrong, remember Michael Fish in 87 ... luckily I don't think she heard.
Does one barbeque a summer make??
Oh yes, and what are 'organised showers' please?

Now, as I write, there's a mackerel sky, and black cumuli bubbling up. Not a hint of red. Well, I know what that means.


  1. We, in East Anglia, always get the dregs of everyone else's weather so I normally watch the Welsh Wales Weather and dilute it by 75%, 24 hours later.

    Interested in the tail end of the hurricane, presumably forecast for Reading, as we have just had 15 minutes of tail-end-hurricane, with the wind chimes playing off the scale.

    Agree, very annoying, all the coverage given to Scotland which should really be covered with one sweep of the hand. Why can't they have their own forecast - they seem to have devolution in everything else!

  2. Well, I guess it is marginally better than "Run like hell, the wind has changed direction and everything is on fire."
    But don't get me started on weather ladies. Do they all share the same horrible pair of shiny black high heels and the same horrible skirt that looks like it is made out of sharkskin?
    Supine you are right. Who cares if it is raining in Dunfermline?

  3. I didn't take that hurricane too seriously. After all, you can't really get scared by a hurricane that calls itself 'Bill', can you?

  4. When they get to H (which they do, & beyond, remember K?) why oh why don't they call it Higgins?

    Organised showers are the sort we had here today.
    I heard a lot of raindrop type noise & glanced out the window to see it pelting down; the pool cover, to the south of the house, & the surrounding terrace, were soaked. 2 minutes later I went out to the car on the north side of the house & the concrete was bone dry (well I suspect a moisture meter may have picked up some inherent damp). I should have checked each side of the roof but didn't think of it.
    That's an organised shower. It would fit in any filing cabinet.