Christmas Card Audit 2020

 Due to circumstances beyond my control, the whole of 2020 has been cancelled.

Christmas Card Audit 2019

Executive Summary:

·        Disclaimer: the scientific worth of a statistical exercise is dependent on the size of the sample and the selection categories used.  In that respect, this stuff is scientifically worthless.

·        Hardly anyone seems to believe in Santa Claus any more.

·        Glued-on glitter is making an unwelcomed comeback.  Just stop buying the crap, people!

·        I welcome the woodpecker!  (Yay, Caro!)

The full figures (2018’s, where applicable, in brackets):

Snow/Snowmen/Snowflakes:                 6 (6)

Santas/Reindeer:                                   1 (3)

Animals/Birds:                                      11 (10)

of which          

Robins:                                     3 (3)

Free-range reindeer:                  0 (1)

Horses:                                     1 (1)

Camels:                                    1 (1)

Sheep:                                      1 (0)

Owls:                                       1 (0)

Penguins:                                 1 (0)

Dogs:                                       2 (0)

Deer:                                        1 (1)

Turtle doves:                             0 (1)

Seals:                                       1 (0)

Woodpeckers:                           1 (0)

Landscapes:                                          0 (2)

Nativities/Wise Men/Angels:                 8 (5)

Christmas trees/Baubles:                       5 (4)

Abstract:                                              0 (1)

Mail-letterboxes:                                   2 (1)

Booze:                                                  1 (0)

Flowers:                                               1 (0)

Forests/woods:                                      0 (1)

Cute children:                                       1 (1)

Houses:                                                1 (3)

Holly/ivy/mistletoe:                              1 (0)

Skaters:                                                0 (4)

Townscapes:                                         3 (4)

12 days of Xmas:                                  1 (1)

Everything secular:                               0 (1)

Special categories:

Homemade/designed:                            4 (3)

Cards with glued-on glitter:                   7 (5)

Wonderfully weird:                               4 (0)

Posh yet restrained:                               3 (5)

Various animals wearing sunglasses       1 (0)

Tie for Card Of The Year has to be Chris’s cover from the Girls’ Crystal Annual 1967, and Mig’s animals with sunglasses.  Viewings by appointment only.

Christmas Card Audit 2018

Executive Summary:

·         Many species of animals and birds have become extinct.  I have allowed camels to debut in this category, even though they are being ridden by magi.

·         There are a few more snowflakes than last year.

·         The continued reduction in the volume of glued-on glitter is, as ever, to be welcomed.  I expect making it illegal to be a high priority of the next Labour government.

·         I have felt it necessary to introduce a ‘Politics’ category.  One of them (self-created by its sender) says ‘Happy Brexmas’; the other is a highly sentimentalised picture of the Houses of Parliament.

The full figures (2017’s, where applicable, in brackets):

Snow/Snowmen/Snowflakes:                6 (4)

Santas/Reindeer:                                   3 (3)

Animals/Birds:                                     10 (12)

of which          

Robins:                                     3 (2)

Free-range reindeer:                  1 (3)

Horses:                                    1 (1)

Camels:                                    1 (0)

Sheep:                                      0 (2)

Wrens:                                     0 (1)

Owls:                                       0 (1)

Penguins:                                 0 (1)

Dogs:                                       0 (1)

Nuthatches:                              0 (1)

Deer:                                        1 (0)

Turtle doves:                            1 (0)

Landscapes:                                         2 (3)

Nativities/Wise Men/Angels:                5 (6)

Christmas trees/Baubles:                       4 (4)

Abstract:                                              1 (4)

Mail-letterboxes:                                  1 (1)

Booze:                                                 0 (1)

Flowers:                                               0 (1)

Forests/woods:                                     1 (3)

Cute children:                                       1 (1)

Houses:                                                3 (1)

Holly/ivy/mistletoe:                              4 (0)

Skaters:                                                1 (0)

Townscapes:                                        4 (0)

12 days of Xmas:                                  1 (0)

Everything secular *:                               1 (0)

Special categories:

Homemade/designed:                           3 (4)

Cards with glued-on glitter:                   5 (8)

Wonderfully weird:                              0 (3)

Posh yet restrained:                              5 (1)

Card Of The Year is this picture of some people walking along a footpath in the snow beside some woods:

If you turn it upside down –

It’s a goods train going over a viaduct.

* This 'Everything secular' card depicts, amongst other things, a Santa, a plum pudding, mistletoe, baubles, a snowman, a Christmas tree, bells, holly, a star, snowflakes, and, weirdly, a mug of cocoa - but no booze!!!

Christmas Card Audit 2017

Executive Summary:

·        No startling variations from last year evince themselves, apart from the decline in the snowy category.  This may be due to the misappropriation during 2017 of the word ‘snowflake’.

·        Several animals and birds (such as foxes, cats and owls) are resting, but will doubtless be back.  Others (dogs and nuthatches)are debuting: we wish them well.

·        The slight reduction in the volume of glued-on glitter is to be welcomed.  I read that the stuff is the next ecological-disaster-in-waiting.

·        A cute little girl has replaced a choirboy.  I’m saying nothing.

 

The full figures (2016’s, where applicable, in brackets):

 

Snow/Snowmen/Snowflakes:                 4 (10)

Santas/Reindeer:                                   3 (3)

Animals/Birds:                                      12 (12)

of which          

Robins:                                     2 (3)

Free-range reindeer:                  3 (3)

Horses:                                     1 (1)

Foxes:                                      0 (1)

Sheep:                                      2 (1)

Cats:                                        0 (1)

Squirrels:                                  0 (1)

Wrens:                                     1 (1)

Owls:                                       0 (1)

Penguins:                                 1 (1)

Partridges (in pear tree):            0 (1)

Bullfinches:                              0 (1)

Dogs:                                       1

Nuthatches:                              1

Landscapes:                                          3 (4)

Nativities/Wise Men/Angels:                 6 (7)

Christmas trees/Baubles:                       4 (9)

Abstract:                                              4 (2)

Mail-letterboxes:                                   1 (3)

Choirboys:                                            0 (1)

Booze:                                                  1 (1)

Flowers:                                               1

Forests/woods:                                      3

Cute children:                                       1

Houses:                                                1

 

Special categories:

 

Homemade/designed:                            3 (4)

Cards with glued-on glitter:                   8 (10)

Wonderfully weird:                               3 (1)

Posh yet restrained:                               1

 

Again, I can’t nominate a Card of the Year– they are all equal in their various ways.

Five things because I need to blog

1.     I’ve read two of my Christmas books.  The first one was an intriguing, though flawed, thriller called ‘Magpie Murders’ by Anthony Horowitz.  Tim Lott recently said in the Guardian that ‘literary fiction’, by which he meant posh novels as opposed to common ones, had lost the plot, and I sympathise with his point – I’ve tried to read some posh novels in recent years that disappeared up their own introspection – but I’m not sure where the genre boundaries are any more.  I reckon Horowitz would, if forced to classify, call his work ‘literary’; but a shortage of plot is not one of its failings.

2.     The next book was about growing, processing, storing and burning wood in Norway.  It’s informative, gripping and often hilarious – a classic example of writing quality transcending subject matter, in a way the opposite of point 1, I suppose.

3.     However, I now know more than I really need to about Norwegian chainsaws.

4.     However, if you are felling a tree for fuel, it’s a good idea to do it in the spring, when the leaves have set, and don’t take them off until the autumn.  They will continue to grow (not knowing that there aren’t any roots any more) and so extract moisture from the trunk, drying the latter that much faster for burning.

5.     The third book is ‘Islander’ by Patrick Barkham.  I’ll let you know how it goes.  We’re starting in the Isle of Man.

Christmas Card Audit 2016

I was veering towards another indolence year (like 2014), but overwhelming public demand from Sir Bruin has persuaded me to make the effort.

Executive Summary: 

Note: For the first time, this year’s audit includes cards received by both me and Z.  This does not, of course, affect the overall findings, but I just wanted to say so. 

This appears to have been a year of consolidation, with few significant changes to previous trends.  Points of note:

• Animals and Birds are holding up well.  I have again given a breakdown of this category, with a further sub-division of the birds. 
• Robins have made a small but welcome comeback, as has snow.
• There are a few interesting new categories: mailboxes, choirboys and – surprisingly - booze.

The full figures (2015’s, where applicable, in brackets):

 

Snow/Snowmen/Snowflakes:               10 (2)
Santas/Reindeer:                                  3 (1)

Animals/Birds:                                     16 (13)

of which

Robins:                                     3 (1)

Free-range reindeer:                 3 (4)
Horses:                                     1

Foxes:                                      1
Sheep:                                      1

Cats:                                        1

Squirrels:                                 1

Wrens (we think):                   1

Owls:                                       1 (1)

Penguins:                                 1

Partridges (in pear tree):          1
Bullfinches:                             1

Landscapes:                                         4 (4)
Nativities/Wise Men/Angels:              7 (6)

Christmas trees/Baubles:                     9 (6)
Abstract:                                              2 (3)

Mail-letterboxes:                                 3
Choirboys:                                           1
Booze:                                                 1
 

Special categories:
Homemade/designed:                          4 (4)

Cards with glued-on glitter:                10 (12)
Wonderfully weird:                             1 (0)

 

I can’t nominate a Card of the Year award this year – they are all equal in splendour.

Family Christmasses concluded (for now)

So now all the cards are down* and the tree is sitting naked outside the porch, ready for its final blaze of glory on the bonfire, it’s time to tell you about Christmas with my fourth and last family. 

Except I can’t, because circumstances have dictated that the two I’ve had so far have been only partial gatherings of the entire clan, and although I could retrofit several full assemblies and make it up, that’d be cheating.  So I’ll just say that the two so far have been wonderful in quite different ways, and instead share a few more details from previous lives:

The only first family Christmas I remember clearly was when my brother was born, on December 23^rd.  My sister and I were standing in the hall beside my father when the phone rang, he listened, and told us the news.  It was snowing heavily, and we played out in it next day.  That’s the whole memory, anything more would be made up; but its sharpness still sparkles so I’m sharing it unembellished.

The singsongs started out a bit tentative, but over a couple of years settled down into a tradition: Sloop John B (a gleeful travesty of the Beach Boys, everyone wanting to do the ‘doo-do-da-doo-doo’ part); Alan and my immaculate harmony on the Ev’s All I Have To Do Is Dream; in the early years a lovely solo of a pre-war song I shamefully forget by Alan’s dad Les; my take on Buddy Holly’s Everyday; other stuff; and the grand finale, American Pie, in full.   Eventually it became a chore for me (I was the bandleader, after all) and I almost started to dread it nearly as much as the present-issuing routine.  Now, I wouldn’t mind another crack (if I could still play the guitar – must check that sometime).

*I might do my spasmodically annual Xmas card audit soon, if I can be bothered.

Family Christmasses (cont’d)

When I got married in 1988, I joined my third family.  That was in August, and in about October the subject of Christmas came up.  I’d already realised that they did it on a scale I hadn’t yet experienced, so in a moment of self-confident rashness I said “Well, we can have it here, can’t we?”  There were expressions ranging from bewildered through delighted to highly relieved.  Afterwards, I was consoled.  “Well, you weren’t to know...”

It turned out that we were sleeping eight adults and two pre-teens in our just occupied, barely habitable three-bedroom house.  That proved easy once modesty, privacy, all that kind of stuff had been sufficiently downgraded – after all, I was used to roughing it.  What proved to be harder to cope with was the sheer scale of the thing.  Especially the presents.

This family’s approach to present-giving, it seemed, could be summarised as: if you know you need it, or are going to need it – a shirt, a suit, a pair of shoes, an electric toothbrush, anything –  in the next twelve months, wrap it up and call it a Christmas present.  (I exaggerate, but not much.)  This wasn’t in itself a bad idea, and it did add to the general jollity for the first hour or two – everybody likes a pressie, whether their own or someone else’s, don’t they? – but the rule, it also seemed, was that each one had to be opened, inspected and if you were unlucky passed round the whole family to be admired, before the paper on the next one could be touched.  Time passed.  Slowly.  Eventually lunch came to the rescue.

My exact memory of how it went is hazy now, but I’m sure that at some point after the pudding and before the next round of gifts – probably during the coffee and brandies, come to think of it – I had an inspiration. 

“Sing-song anybody?”

Twenty eyes lit up.

This story will be concluded in my next post.

 

 

Family Christmasses

I reckon I’ve belonged to four families so far, if a family can be thought of as a bunch of people you spend Christmas with. 

All four families were very different, but all four Christmasses were the same in essence, which I don’t need to spell out but will anyway  - gifts; food and drink; laughter and love; the occasional spat and reconciliation; exhaustion and unexpected energy reserves… I didn’t need to, did I?  So I’d like to have a look at the differences.

When I was growing up, Christmas was a time to be taken for granted, of course – I was a child, and children have the feelings they’re taught to and don’t question them much, do they?  So I won’t dwell on childhood Christmasses except to note that gifts were pretty frugal: this was the forties and fifties, and though my parents were well off by most people’s standards, there wasn’t that much left over for extravagance, which in any case wasn’t in their nature.  So our stockings would be bulked out with  tangerines and walnuts – strangely, those are the gifts I seem to remember most vividly.

Then I joined an Italian family.  The emphasis there was on the food and drink.  I read an article recently which feared that this was in danger of dying out, and there’s probably a risk of that, but I have few direct connections with Italy any more, so can’t say.  My Italian family was from Reggio-Emilia, which meant antipasto, then capelletti (or tortellini) alla panna (in cream; none of your wimpish brodo round there), then a huge bollito misto with salsa verde and rosso; cheese (appropriate wines to accompany all that, often home-made lambrusco, but not as you might know it – real lambrusco is raspingly dry and low in alcohol, drunk more in the manner and quantities we’d drink bitter); various desserts probably including zuppa inglese (English soup: trifle to you); rounded off with coffee, a slice of panettone and a grappa or cognac or several.  After all that there wasn’t much time, space or energy for anything else.

The third and fourth families will be along tomorrow.

Christmas Card Audit 2015

I was going to blog about my post-it stickers, which read ‘claret’, ‘crisp horse beans’ and ‘eels’, but this is much more interesting, isn’t it?  Isn’t it?

Executive Summary:

Note: An audit was not carried out for 2014, for reasons of indolence.  Comparisons are therefore with the 2013 figures.

The most significant trends this year have been:

·         The Animals and Birds count has recovered encouragingly.  Indeed, I have thought it worthwhile to give a full breakdown of this category.  Robins remain consistent at 1.

·         Cute Children have, thankfully, been eliminated.

·         I have retained the category ‘Santas/Reindeer’, although there is only one card depicting a sleigh being pulled by reindeer, and Santa is not visible in this.  Indeed, there are no Santas at all!  What does this mean?  There are, however, several free-range reindeer, which are included in Animals’Birds.

·         Glued-on glitter is everywhere. 

The full figures (2013’s, where applicable, in brackets):

Snow/Snowmen/Snowflakes:               2 (6)

Santas/Reindeer:                                  1 (4)

Animals/Birds:                                     13 (4)

of which

Robins:                                     1 (1)

Free-range reindeer:                 4

Baby deer:                               3

Horses:                                     1

Dogs:                                       1

Ducks:                                     1

Owls:                                       1

Hedgehogs:                              1         

Landscapes:                                         4 (7)

Boats:                                                  1 (0)*

Nativities/Wise Men/Angels:                6 (4)

Christmas trees/Baubles:                      6 (5)

Comical:                                              2 (1)

Puddings:                                             0 (0)

Cute Children                                      0 (4)

Totally Abstract:                                  3 (0)

*To be fair, an RNLI card.

Special categories:

Homemade/designed:                          4 (4)

Cards with glued-on glitter:                  12 (3)

Ecards:                                                 0 (1)

Wonderfully weird:                             0 (3)

The Card of the Year award this year goes to my niece Georgie for a bauble card constructed from old buttons.  I haven’t illustrated it because it only really works in 3-D. 

Don’t Do Don’t

I was toying with doing one of those reviews of the year, but Facebook has beaten me to it, by selecting pictures I wisely posted there – a moth (or butterfly; there was a heated debate); a snail traversing a hose; a frog; some dead tomatoes; a book; some orioning (that’s too good a typo to correct, innit); a spider's web; did I mention a book?

So instead, as a lesson and a resolution, I’ll just stick with the post title.  To put it another way, ‘do do do’.  (As Frank Sinatra almost said.)

Happy Festives everybody.

There is a Sanity Clause!

And to prove it, here he is coming down the chimney.  (Or the stairs.)

We all had to sit on his lap and answer, honestly, whether we’d been a good or bad little boy or girl.  I told the truth, of course, and Santa pulled my reward out of his sack:

After that, there was the dreaded singsong.  It went pretty well actually, and my relationship with this thing 

is creeping back towards love.

Another nice present I got was a tea mug the size of a small bucket:

I christened it this afternoon with half a pint of Rosie Lee, which served nicely to wash down a Crunchie bar and a finger of fudge.

Two Christmas Haikus

The Christmas tree stand
Was lying around for years.
Waiting to be used.


Now, just when needed,
It seems to have gone to ground...
Is it in the loft?


Tis the season to be silly ... Happy festivities to everyone!
Timbo

Oer yw'r gŵr sy'n methu caru

Holly and Ivy had been flatmates for a while now, but they still weren’t quite sure, either of them, about how the relationship might be evolving.  Ivy found Holly somewhat, well, sharp, whilst Holly thought Ivy was, frankly, rather creepy.  Things came to a head as Advent kicked in.  They’d been pretending to watch the quarter-finals of a programme called ‘I’m Strictly an Apprentice, Kick Me Out of Here,’ or something, when Holly hit the mute button.

“So.  We might as well sort it out.”

Ivy wrapped herself round a cushion and almost smiled.  “I’m not sure I know precisely what you mean, Holly.” 

Holly exploded.  “You know exactly what I mean!  You’ve invited a bunch of your relatives – Celyn, Hedera, Cuileann, I forget the rest –  not to mention that Norwegian bloke – ”

“Nordman?  And Hedera’s your relative, by the way.”

“Whatever.  We need to spruce this place up a bit.  Deck the halls.”

Ivy looked up from her iPad.  “I take your point.  Nordman likes his baubles.  And I hear that flashy Lametta might drop in¸ probably drape herself all over the place.  But – I’ve been doing a bit of research, and it’s quite obvious.  Look – ” She passed the tablet to Holly.  “Deck the halls with boughs of you. You wear the crown.  I hardly get a mention.  So I feel hardly worthy to usurp your unquestioned superiority in the hall-decking scheme of things.  Tra-la-la-la-laa!”

Holly briefly prickled, but then wilted.  “Well, if you put it that way…  But – does that mean I have to do all the work?”

Ivy smiled.  She’d thought of that.  “Oh no.  I suggest we go down the inn.”

“The inn?”

“Yes, the inn.  There’ll be a heavenly host of merry gentlemen there, all too willing to help.  And my old uni chums Comfort and Joy’ll be there too, prob.”

Holly grabbed her bag and out they went into the night, where a single bright star was shining unnoticed above them.

A Christmas Carol

Good King Wenceslas looked out of his castle window.  It was a dark and stormy night, but he could see that the snow lay deep – it had near enough covered the barberry shrubs – and seemed fairly even.  He took a small sip of his B and S, then a larger one, and rang the bell.  Vlad, his man, shimmered in.

“Sire?”

“Bally cold out there, what?” observed Wenceslas.

“Indeed, Sire.  Will there be anything else?  Sire?”

Vlad had this trick of leaving a little pause between two otherwise innocent words and so conveying a universe of meaning, in this case that his master’s voice was perhaps being unnecessarily exercised.  Wenceslas ignored him.

“Lots of snow, Vlad.  Deep, even.  Even, even.”  He took another sip, more of a slurp really, and went on.  “What I was wondering, though, Vlad, was: is it crisp?”

“Crisp, Sire?”

“Crisp, Vlad.  You know, the sort you can’t make snowballs out of.  I was just wondering.”

Vlad had accidently acquired the reputation of knowing, or being able to find out, everything.  In his heart of hearts, he regretted this, but it was too late to back off now.

“I shall endeavour to ascertain the crispness of the snow, Sire.”  He approached the window.  “Ah.  I believe, Sire, that I discern a human figure, who might be of assistance.”

“A human figure?  What in the name of St Agatha would a human be doing out in this?”

“It appears to be a poor man, gathering winter fuel, Sire,” said Vlad. 

Wenceslas pondered and inspected his empty goblet.  “Winter fuel, eh?  Nicking my twigs, you mean?  Fetch him in here, Vlad, if you would.  I’m sure we can persuade him to solve this crispness problem for us.”  

“As you wish, Sire.” 

If it’s possible to shimmer and slouch at the same time, Vlad accomplished it as he exited the chamber.

 

Vlad ushered in the Poor Man, with much faux-obsequiousness. 

“Ah, the peasant who’s been nicking my twigs,” said Wenceslas.  “Please, make yourself at home.  Feel free to stand over there.  Now, we have an important issue to resolve.”

The Poor Man bowed.  “Aaaar, Zurr,” he said in his rich Bohemian burr.

“The thing is, it’s about that bally snow out there.  Beastly stuff, what?”

“What?” said the Poor Man.

Vlad hovered a bit closer to the theatre of action.

“If one might suggest, Sire – ” 

“Ah, yes, of course.  Vlad, give this man a B and S.  Or perhaps – ”  Wenceslas frowned.  “Perhaps something more … familiar?  Mead, is it, you fellows like?  Vlad, there might be a bottle in the cupboard over there from a couple of Christmasses ago …”

Vlad sidled over to the cocktail cabinet, pulled out several bottles and took a surreptitious swig from each.

“And a morsel of nosh for this poor man,” cried Wenceslas.  “I was having a sliver of fois gras on some toast, but he probably prefers … what is it these people eat?  Gruel, that’s it!  Vlad, get cook to rustle up a bucket of gruel – oh, that’s rather clever, what?  Rhymes with fuel …”

“And cruel.  Oi’d a bin happy with the brandy,” muttered the Poor Man.

 

“Now,” said Wenceslas, once the comestibles had been shipped in.  “We have an important issue to resolve.  (Do feel free to park your bowl on the mantelpiece, by the way.)  As you know, they call me ‘Good’ King Wenceslas, can’t think why, ha ha – ”

“They talks about nothing else down th tavern,” said the Poor Man.  “Nobuddy knows.”

“ – so I am prepared to overlook the matter of the twigs, and indeed permit you to gather several more, if you can just answer this vexing question.   As well as being deep and even, is that snow crisp?”

There was one of those pauses that someone with only a rudimentary knowledge of human biology might have called pregnant.

“Zearch me,” said the Poor Man at last.  “Uz’d ave to go an ave a snowball fight to found that out.”

“What a dashed Good idea!” shouted King Wenceslas.  “Vlad – ”

But Vlad was crouched behind the door, gibbering. 

So Wenceslas and the Poor Man linked arms and faded off into the snowy night, singing “God bless us every one…” as they went.

 

 

Nineteen strumming days to go

You have to overcome that sneaky weasel that whispers ‘don’t bother, you can’t do it.’  So, I dusted off the acoustic and tried a few chords.  Quite surprising actually.  I’d fully expected the problem area to be on the right, because that’s where the embolism was; the arm itself gets tired and aches, and the fingertips feel permanently sore, and my grip isn’t as strong as it used to be.  So I’d guessed that gripping a plectrum and vigorously strumming, with my right hand and arm, would be the problem area.

Not a bit of it.  Well, yes, the gripping bit is a bit unreliable, but I’ve found a nifty thumb-pick which mostly solves that.  (Rog, you were more than half right.  Another symptom is that the extremities are susceptible to the cold.)  And the strumming muscles need toning up. 

No, the problem area is my left hand.  To be precise, the fingertips.  They need to get hardened up.  When I first played the guitar, at age fifteen, we used to use surgical spirit to toughen them up, but I’m not going to go that far.  I did ten minutes Wednesday evening, twelve Thursday, fifteen Friday, fifteen tonight.  Should be all right on the night. 

The family singsong is in fact going to be a bit more than that.  They’ve apparently invited about twenty people for Boxing Day lunch – you have to admire these people’s energy levels and dedication, even while recognising that they’re quite mad – and I guess singing will commence about six p.m.  All that suits me; it’s much easier to control a crowd of twenty than one of eight.  Appropriate quantities of anaesthetic will have been applied.  (I gather it’s a fairly acceptable Argentine Malbec this year.)  The format will be as usual: Green Green Grass, Tie a Yellow Ribbon, my party piece (usually Got You Under My Skin), then I’ll invite requests and we’ll do part of American Pie as a finale.  Should be over in seventy minutes max. 

(I’ve just realised that the post title is wrong – I’m off to Dorset for three days tomorrow, and won’t be taking the guitar.) 

Christmas Card Audit 2013

Executive Summary:

The most significant trends this year have been:

·         An alarming fall in the Animals and Birds count.  Robins in particular have been cut by a staggering 600%.

·         A disturbing new category, which I have felt it necessary to incorporate, is Cute Children.  The card-count (4) does not reflect the actual number (inevitably, double counting tends to occur here).  It is at least twice that, all doing nauseatingly cute things involving puppies, sleds, snowballs, etc.

·         Also, there are a few (3) of which I can’t make any sense at all, so have counted as ‘totally abstract’.  I like this trend very much.

·         Glued-on glitter has tripled, from one to three.  I’d make more of this were it not for the fact that (I belatedly notice) all the cards I sent had at least some glued-on glitter. (It’s hell to hoover up, isn’t it?)

 

The full figures (last year’s in brackets):

 

Snow/Snowmen/Snowflakes:               6 (2)

Santas/Reindeer:                                  4 (3)

Animals/Birds:                                     4 (17)

 (of which Robins:                               1 (6))

Landscapes:                                         7 (6)

Boats:                                                  0 (0)*

Nativities/Wise Men/Angels:                4 (4)
Christmas trees/Baubles:                      5 (5)

Comical:                                              1 (1)

Puddings:                                             0 (0)*

Cute Children                                      4 (0)

Totally Abstract:                                  3 (0)

*These will be eliminated from the next count, unless there’s a resurgence of boats and puddings.  I have no strong feelings about this.

 

Special categories:

 Homemade/designed:                          4 (5)

Cards with glued-on glitter:                  3 (1)

Ecards:                                                 1 (1)

Wonderfully weird:                             3 (1)

 There is no Card of the Year award this year.  The overall quality of cards is so much higher that it’s impossible to choose any single one.  All have done well, and all shall have prizes (purely metaphorical ones, you understand).