Here's how to get an adrenalin kick.
I came back from my usual Monday overnighter at Datchet, parked up, walked round to the front, opened the door, defused the burglar alarm, closed the door, dumped the bag on the stairs, opened it and pulled out slippers and newspaper; so far, so routine. Then I remembered I needed to nip up to Waitrose for a few things. Shoes still on, luckily. Out through back door, down the garden to the car, up the Oxford Road, whizz round Waitrose, back home, job done. You're bored enough, so let's skip over the rest of Tuesday and jump to Wednesday morning, today.
Today is the day when the Christmas Shopping Death-Eater is going to be vanquished, or at least severely disabled. So I'm all geared up, sluiced and breakfasted, list in pocket and ready to roll by nine o'clock. But, the shops and car parks of Reading Town mostly aren't open yet, so there's time to nip down the shop for the paper, as usual.
I'm paranoid about leaving the house without my keys, ever since I did it once. So I check my pocket. They're not there. I check everywhere I could have left them around the house. Not there.
It's funny how the most irrelevant thoughts flash through your mind at such moments. What I felt, first, was sadness. I've had that little silver horseshoe on my key-ring since I was eighteen. I must have stupidly left the keys in the front door when I got home on Tuesday morning; they're stolen; and now I've lost my oldest possession. I felt sad.
That didn't last long, of course. Rational logical practical Tim took over pretty quick. My house is now in danger of intrusion. OK, sort it out. Check details of Chubb front door lock. Bolt front door from inside. Exit via back door (key luckily not on lost ring). Up to Homebase (car key also luckily not on lost ring). Buy replacement lock. Back home. Install new lock ... Forget about Christmas shopping surge for today, probably.
So that's what I do. Except that I don't get past step three. Because as I walk across the lawn towards the car, something glints up at me from the grass ...
That's when the adrenalin kicked in.