Tuesday, 3 July 2012

I Have Absolutely Nothing To Say

But it’s still early, the Marlborough Pinot Noir is getting better by the sip, there’s nothing on the telly, it’s 106 miles to Chicago … (sorry, The Blues Brothers took over my brain there for an instant.)

I found a book called “Wrinklies’ Wit & Wisdom” which someone wittily gave me five years ago.  Ninety nine per cent of it is crap, but here are a few that amused me:

Interviewer:  To what do you attribute your long life?
Sir Malcolm Sargent: To the fact that I haven’t died yet.

Bob Monkhouse:  The doctor said ‘I have good news and bad news.  The good news is: you’re not a hypochondriac.’

And a probably apocryphal Queen Mother quote:
(to her daughter):  A glass of wine with lunch?  Is that wise?  You know you have to reign all afternoon.


  1. I done a lol at that first one.

  2. An excellent selection thank you.

  3. A couple that should be there from Woody Allen:

    "I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying."

    "You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred."

  4. The most important thing in life is sincerity. Once you can fake that you're sorted.
    Another from Mr Monkhouse I believe