I found a book called “Wrinklies’ Wit & Wisdom” which someone wittily gave me five years ago. Ninety nine per cent of it is crap, but here are a few that amused me:
Interviewer: To what do you attribute your long life?
Sir Malcolm Sargent: To the fact that I haven’t died yet.
Bob Monkhouse: The doctor said ‘I have good news and bad news. The good news is: you’re not a hypochondriac.’
And a probably apocryphal Queen Mother quote:
(to her daughter): A glass of wine with lunch? Is that wise? You know you have to reign all afternoon.