It was fellow-blogger Rog who pointed out, ages ago when for
some reason I had touched on the subject, that once you pass seventy you don’t
‘fall over’ any more, you ‘have a fall’.
Well, judging from how I felt on waking up last Monday morning, I reckon
I must have done both on my way to bed the night before.
I don’t want to go into details, even those I can
remember. Suffice to say that whilst I
was failing to tidy the kitchen, the builders had been in and repositioned the
staircase. And I turned the landing
light off instead of on, easy mistake.
And it was very late. And …
It’s a cracked rib. Been
there, done that (you can’t wear a T-shirt under these conditions), so I knew
what lay ahead. The doctor was very
sympathetic once I’d spun him my carefully concocted yarn about getting out of
the bath, and gave me a truckload of codeine phosphate tablets. They’re 15mg, and I’m allowed up to four at a
time, up to four times a day, so I have plenty of dosage flexibility.
One of the instructions on the leaflet is ‘DO NOT drink
alcohol with codeine phosphate, as it may affect you more than usual.’ I considered and rejected a couple of
smart-ass sophistries – does that just mean don’t wash them down with wine? and
can’t I just drink less than usual? – and have been experimenting with de-alcoholized
wine, which is wine that’s been made the proper way then had nearly all the
alcohol taken out. I can report that
it’s not (quite) as unpalatable as you might think. The shiraz I’ve tried tastes almost like a
cheap, rather sweet shiraz; and the wuzziness caused by the codeine neatly
compensates (nearly) for the missing alcohol.
You can get used to anything.
The list of possible side effects is awesome – twenty of
them in all. If I’d had them all, there
wouldn’t have been much of me left. As a
quibble, number 19 on the list should really have been number one. (I’ll let you guess for yourselves what it
is. The clue is there.) The most interesting one, though, is number
17: ‘Hallucinations’. Sadly, I don’t
think this has happened, though you can’t be sure, can you?