It’s fairly certain there will be another general election
within the next few months, and increasingly likely that it will result in
another hung Parliament.
Constitutionally, the Queen is required, by convention, to call upon the
leaders of the parties, in turn and in order of their representation in the
House of Commons, to attempt to form her Government. This has proved difficult enough recently,
and won’t be any easier next time. In
fact it could prove impossible.
So what happens then?
There are no historic precedents that I’m aware of. Another election? Same result.
Another one? You get the point –
we’d end up with an election at which nobody could be bothered to turn up. And we’d still be without a Government. Some might say that’s no bad thing; indeed
when I lived in Italy in the sixties it seemed to be the norm, and Belgium went
without one for at least a couple of years a while ago. But it wouldn’t do for us, would it, eh?
Fortunately Z and I have come up with a simple
solution. Her Majesty will form her own
Government. She will continue to be Head
of State, and of course Parliament will continue to be the Legislature*, but
she will appoint her own Executive.
But where to find the appointees? We humbly suggest she looks to her own family. We’ve drawn up a list of proposals for a few
key Cabinet posts, and would welcome feedback before we forward the final
recommendation to the Palace.
Prime Minister:
Charles.**
Chancellor of the
Exchequer: Anne.
Home Office: Camilla.
Foreign Office:
William.
Defence:
Harry.
Education:
Kate.
Transport:
Andrew.
Culture:
Edward.
Unfilled posts include Health, Justice, Energy,
Environment, Local Government, and Work & Pensions. There are plenty of spare minor royals out
there though.
*The Whip system
will be abolished and MPs instructed to vote purely as representatives of their
constituents’ interests and according to their own consciences, if any.
** We considered
abolishing this position, but that would risk taking us too close to the
American system, and besides, it’ll keep him out of mischief.
