Thursday, 1 March 2012

Dear Google

 There, that caught your attention, didn’t it?

I am pleased to advise you of an amazing money-saving offer.  From today, you DO NOT NEED to develop inconceivably expensive spyware for the purpose of constructing targeted advertising to irritate, and be ignored by, its recipient, because I and my thousands of friends have agreed to share, openly and free of let and hindrance*, all the information you need, simply by completion of the following simple form**:

 NAME:          Tom Riddle
ADDRESS:    4 Privet Drive
                     Azkaban
                     England
                     Europe
                     The World
                     The Solar System
                     The Milky Way
                     The Universe

PHONE:        )!!*(%)”%”!

EMAIL:     (xxx @ xxx.com)

SPECIAL INTERESTS:
Witchcraft
Making ill-advised jokes about blowing things up
Inverted pyramids
World domination
The special effects of asparagus (sprue) 

EXCLUSIONS:
I do not wish to receive communications from the following:
·         Yummy Pizzas
·         Kozy Kabs
·         ‘Youbettamoveorelsewelldowngradeyourneighbourhood’ estate agents 

* Terms and conditions apply.

** Sample only.

        

                    

2 comments :

  1. Nope, doesn't work. No ads targetted at 14 year old schoolboys yet.

    ReplyDelete
  2. My email has been targeted by ladies looking for a husband recently.
    Do you think any of them would like a 14 year old schoolboy? I could pass them on?

    ReplyDelete