Thursday, 13 September 2012

The Golden Screw

(By popular demand from Z):

Once there was a boy who had a golden screw where his navel should be.  The wisest men and women in the village could not explain this, nor find any means to remove the screw, despite consulting the cleverest mechanics and trying the most precise tools.  Eventually, in desperation, they called upon the services of a professional magician, who studied the problem for many days and at last said:

“The boy must go deep into the forest and locate a particular tree, which I will describe to him.  He must dig beneath the roots of this tree and find a golden screwdriver.  He must take this to the castle of the Princess and show it to her.  She will kiss him, and he will then be able to remove the screw.”

The boy followed the magician’s instructions, and after overcoming many perils came into the presence of the Princess.  She smiled and kissed him.  He took the golden screwdriver and undid the screw in his navel, and his arse fell off.


  1. Brilliant, Tim, I nearly spluttered Seville orange vodka onto my keyboard!

  2. Yes, Brilliant. I'm going to try and learn it by heart.