1. Jersey roads are carefully designed such that all right turns from side roads onto mains are blind. The solution is to edge forward, gently or aggressively according to how local you are, until someone gives way. The driver who gives way will invariably have ‘H’, for ‘Hire car’, on their number plate. I suspect this is an island sport.
2. The Jersey Bug. The hospital has closed for all but A&E admissions. It strikes without warning, literally – one person had to exit from a high-powered meeting, again literally on the trot – and then wipes you out for twenty four hours. This happened to almost everyone I had contact with, from Friday evening through to Monday morning. The worst thing is that none of the doctors seem to be able to guess at the incubation period. So I’m possibly still in with a chance.
3. The toilet in the General’s house doesn’t have a lock. We are instructed to sing loudly to advise our presence, K’s song being ‘The White Cliffs of Dover.’ Hence a new bit of local near-rhyming slang: “Just off for a white cliffs …”
4. Here’s the notice in the hotel lift, which amused me. I could have rounded up some candidates …
5. What was 5? Oh yes, it was K’s 90th. Despite some important guests being unable to make it due to (2.), she bounced back from the disappointment, feisty old tough Yorkshire pudding that she is, and had a great evening. One thing that moved me was that people sent huge bouquets even though they knew she wouldn’t be able to ship them back home, just to show their affection. (K, of course, moaned about ‘waste of money’, hiding her obvious delight; the General has arranged for surrogate bouquets to be delivered to Reading.)