As it’s a slow blog day, a bit more on the Jersey trip,
mostly about the hotel.
It’s called the Ommaroo, located on the coast road from
St Helier to Gorey – just go up round the hairpins past Fort Regent, drop back
down and it’s on the left, can’t miss it; though the car park is a bit
harder to find, as I discovered three times.
It can’t be on the right, because that’s the sea, or what
passes for it here – a rather scruffy curve of beach with some anonymous
industrial constructs to the far south.
Before these, you see an elliptical area, ringed by a rather brutalist concrete wall, which fills
with water at high tide. There’s a
rather charming blue and white art deco pier running out beside it. Apparently this was (and possibly might still
be) a swimming pool. During the
Occupation, it was the only location on the island at which German soldiers
(officers mostly, one would guess), because they weren’t in uniform, could
consort freely with local girls.
Afterwards, they might repair to the Ommaroo for entertainment. None of the Jersey natives I speak to are
able to confirm or deny this legend.
The inside of the hotel is multi-levelled. Although there are notionally three (or
possibly four, hard to say) floors, each of these contains many mini-floors, so
that if you’re entering from, say, the car park (as we did, naturally), you
will ascend and descend four flights of two or more steps before you reach the
reception area. The charming Polish
receptionist will then cart your cases halfway back the way you came until he sends
you off in another direction (through
the coffee lounge) whilst he hauls them up some stairs “because the lift isn’t
strong enough.” (Lord knows why – I’ve
shown you the lift’s rules.) The lift is just inside the door from the car
park.
K. manages, with my guidance, not to fall up or down any
of those steps (although she does succeed next day in tripping over the baby
gate at the top of her grand-daughter’s stairs, whilst trying to evade their
labradoodle, but that’s another story*.)
At breakfast next morning, the waiters present K. with a
surprise – a birthday cake, which has been delivered by some relatives. She’s overwhelmed, of course, and the waiters
aren’t even slightly perturbed by finding that there aren’t any candles to
light. Some other guests (who turn out
to share her surname) come over and sing Happy Birthday.
Later, I ask John the taxi, who’s from the Midlands but
has lived here for thirty-five years, knows everything there is to know about
the place, and doesn’t like it, why it’s called the Ommaroo. “Nobody knows,” he says.
I believe him.
I think it's one of the most delightful hotels I've ever stayed in. I have Somerset Maugham visions.
I think it's one of the most delightful hotels I've ever stayed in. I have Somerset Maugham visions.
*By the way, anyone want to buy a labradoodle puppy
sometime next autumn?
I like those meandering sorts of hotels where there's an air of exploration every time you set off to find a different way to the dining room.
ReplyDeleteI'm open to the idea of a labradoodle, especially a blond one.
The Old Success at Sennen Cove is a bit like that.
ReplyDeleteAnd the Atlantic in St Mary's,.
In fact I think it's a requirement for seaside hotels is it not?
do you have to cross a labradoodle with another labradoodle to have labradoodle puppies? That looks like an obvious question put like that, but round here they seem to add in another whole lab or poodle. Perhaps that would be a labradabradoodle or labrapoodledoodle.
ReplyDeleteI have a jackapoo but I call him ASBO for short.
I think that ideally you add spaniel, so that you can call it a cockerpoodledoo.
ReplyDeleteI didn't even mention the free Sunday afternoon Northern Soul Disco, 1 - 8 pm, of which I sadly caught only ten minutes when buying a round in the bar. A truly zany joint.
ReplyDeleteI know nothing about dog breeding, I'm afraid, nor if it's possible to select for different complexions. The mother-to-possibly-be is coloured rather like a box of assorted truffles that's been left out in the sun. I think your idea could catch on, though, Z.