A certain scuptural quality, wouldn't one say? A touch Louise Bourgois even, n'est ce pas?
I'm having my soffits and fascias renewed, and so know roughly what those words mean. A company called E******t came round to give me a quote a few weeks ago. Cheeks were sucked. "Well, the headline price is £18,000." He heard my sharp intake of breath. "But don't worry. With the various discounts, subsidies, etcetera, we can get that down to - " a lot of fiddling with a calculator, then a beaming smile " - nine!" He smirks seductively. "That's if you sign up today, of course."
I've been there, had that done to me before, so I smiled back and showed him where the door is. The next day, Craig from http://www.fantasticfascia.com/ came round for a look. "Two and a half."
So now, Craig and his brother-in-law have created this splendid sculpture and are working from 8.30 to 5 to ensure that I can hand over a solidly backed guarantee to whoever eventually buys or inherits this joint. No more painting, ever.
But the tea is a major problem.