Builders' tea

Here's a view of the back of my house, as it is at the moment.

A certain scuptural quality, wouldn't one say?  A touch Louise Bourgois even, n'est ce pas?

I'm having my soffits and fascias renewed, and so know roughly what those words mean.  A company called E******t came round to give me a quote a few weeks ago.  Cheeks were sucked.  "Well, the headline price is £18,000."  He heard my sharp intake of breath.  "But don't worry.  With the various discounts, subsidies, etcetera, we can get that down to - " a lot of fiddling with a calculator, then a beaming smile " - nine!"  He smirks seductively.  "That's if you sign up today, of course."

I've been there, had that done to me before, so I smiled back and showed him where the door is.  The next day, Craig from  http://www.fantasticfascia.com/ came round for a look.  "Two and a half."

So now, Craig and his brother-in-law have created this splendid sculpture and are working from 8.30 to 5 to ensure that I can hand over a solidly backed guarantee to whoever eventually buys or inherits this joint.  No more painting, ever.

But the tea is a major problem.